Tuesday, January 31, 2012

meeting a tiny me

Sundial, Oh Sundial! how lovely you are to me!
on Sunday, i was kind of bummed, even though Lexi was here visiting and i got to work with the kids that morning and the weather was great, i was still bummed...so naturally, i grabbed Lexi, glori, and Emily and traveled off to the Sundial. as we drove around the corner and the bridge came into view, i felt my heart growing lighter, and as we walked across the bridge i imaged myself throwing what was bothering me off the edge until it splashed into the water and was swiftly carried away by the current. when i had done this, i was still lighter than before, but still some of the gloominess lingered. then we heard it, the loveliest sound rising up from under the bridge - someone was singing and we recognized the song. secretly i hoped that it was Hillary Dodson, but when the voice came into view we realized it was multiple voices singing what we deemed "Jesus music" that we were all familiar with since we sang those same songs at church and chapel. their voices made the space seem all the more lovely, as we danced and played near the water's edge.

after a while, we sat down by one of the walkways as we continued to listen to the music, and this little girl and her dog approached us. she was tall for her age and kind of lanky. she wore only shades of blue and had shoulder length blonde hair with bangs that went all the way across. when we made eye contact, she looked at me and i smiled as she said, "the music is nice. do you think they are their own songs?" we explained to her that they were songs from one of the local churches. i don't remember how the conversation progressed, but she sat down with us, took off her sweatshirt and wrapped it around her dog and began to tell us about all of her pets and how she had some goats at home and how she loved the sundial and that her birthday was the 23rd of January and she had just turned 9. i told her about how i had a goat when i was a little younger than her and how i loved the sundial and my birthday was the 22nd and i had just turned 20. according to Emily, she even pronounced her words the same way i do. i told her that we were twins separated at birth by 11years and 1 day, which she thought was funny. after a little while, an older women came whom the little girl called "Ma." the little girl talked with us a while longer than told us she "should get going" before leaving to find her mom again.

she was just what i needed to brighten my day :)

Monday, January 23, 2012

birthday adventures

yup, it's that time again. i have finally put two decades behind me. to celebrate the end of my teenager years, my friends and i went to the rooster party at the stirring. the rooster party is this movement of creatives celebrating, supporting, and funding other creatives to spread the hope of Jesus. this specific rooster party gathering had art work, photography, and music. the whole thing was fun but the best party was Hunter Thompson, Hillary Dodson, and Paul Arend singing all original folky hipster music. they were so SO GOOD!

the next morning, getting to church on time was a little difficult to do since my car was plastic wrapped and written all over haha. i found a rather funny note and a pair of scissors wrapped up in the plastic. luckily, i was only 2 minutes late for my first sunday of volunteering. some of my friends thought it was weird that i started volunteering on my birthday, but the joy that those kids brought was a great, free birthday present to myself. one little girl came in with long brown hair and held herself with a certain independent confidence that i thought was familiar. when i asked her what her name was, she replied, "Camille." it took a lot for me not to laugh since i realized that i was looking at a miniature version of one of my closest friends. she decided we must be friends too, so she followed me around after that.

after church, Leeza took me out to lunch and we caught up on life. then Glori, Emily, and A took me glow in the dark mini golfing during which they revealed that they got me tickets to see the Fray when they come to town next month. we were quite the sight after that - if any song came on that we knew, we danced and sang using our clubs as microphones as we climbed all over the sets for each hole.

pretending to take the balloon
we then decided to go to cypress starbucks since it was indeed sunday. they were promoting a new blend of coffee so they had balloons all around the store. naturally, i asked the barrista at the register if he could give me one of the balloons on account of it being my birthday. he told us no because the balloons "belonged to the starbucks corporation" (psh. dumb. chad would have given me one if he had been there.)
to finish the day, i went to church one more time, then went back to my room where Leeza and Jen were waiting for me with cupcakes and hugs.

all in all a good day :)

Saturday, January 21, 2012

Market/Eureka Way Starbucks

today, Emily and i decided to go to starbucks to do homework. naturally i headed to the cypress starbucks, but when we got there, it was packed tighter than Emily's luggage when she tries to take everything she owns back with her to Arizona for Christmas break. after ordering our drinks, me with my venti light iced coffee sweetened with soy milk and Emily with her venti unsweetened iced green tea, we decided to leave and go to the starbucks downtown. when we walked in, it felt like we had transported to a different town, a hipper town, where people sat in fancy lounges smoking cigarettes on the ends of long gold cigarette holders wearing all black like they just came out of a modern day audrey hepburn movie. the decor was more modern and stark with dark colored pictures of coffee beans and the coffee brewing process hanging on the neutral colored walls. most of the people there were older and reading newspapers or sitting and chatting, rather than college students with laptops and books. jazz music was playing in the background making us sit a little taller and hold ourselves with more sophistication. so of course, it made me want to blog instead of doing homework...

Thursday, January 19, 2012

sophomore year take two

i don't know how i would get by without Jesus and coffee
last semester, i decided to take fewer credits so i could get adjusted to life as an ra, because of that, i am now hitting the ground running with 18 units, 3 days of 8 o'clock classes, and a crazy awesome floor of girls to love and support. the first few weeks have been worse than easy. my driver side mirror fell off and i needed to buy my books and i had lots of meetings with the team and my girls and had to quickly plan events and fill out applications for next year and summer and next week so i can have a job and volunteer and be productive with my life. on top of that i have interviews and stress and not much sleep and great conversations and lots and lots of laughter. its been a lot, but i love it! call me crazy, but i love every moment of my super busy hardly any time to sit down life! plus today i added one more thing to my lovely schedule: Stirring Kids :) starting this Sunday, i get to help out with the 2nd-5th graders.  SO excited! well, got to run :)

Sunday, January 15, 2012


this sunday marked the fifth year anniversary of my home church, the Stirring. i've been going there for a little over a year, and have been blessed by the community each week. the service was truly a celebration with singing and dancing to God, we even toasted with apple cider toward the end of the service. the room was so thick with the presence of God, everyone celebrating the freedom we have in Him to be who He created us to be and to enjoy the journey. so much JOY!

Saturday, January 7, 2012

lists...i hate not finishing them

i like to make lists. theykeep me organized and on track so i don't forget what i want to do. they also relieve some stress because i don't have to keep thinking about everything i have to do and clogging up valuable brain power with remembering it all. when i write a list i can focus on one thing at a time and trust that everything else is also written down and i will get to it when i'm through with what i'm doing at the time. often times, i color code my lists to show what is of the highest priority and what won't take me that long to do. that way, if i have something that's due in 2 days but won't take me too long, i might do it before starting a project that will take me a few hours but is due tomorrow. i also have lists that are not as deadline-ish such as a list of movies that i'd eventually like to own or a list of my favorite names. over break, i made a list of all the things i wanted to accomplish:
  • finish making christmas gifts
    • for family
    • for friends at school
  • watch the first four seasons of NCIS
  • watch at least 2 seasons of Bones
  • finish the first Harry Potter Book
  • sew my boot leg pants into skinny jeans
  • fix up an old dress
  • finish crocheting at least half of my blanket
  • make cute decorations out of martinelli's bottles
  • be super crafty!
  • go to mount hermon
  • go to coffee to the people in SF
  • hang out and catch up with high school friends
  • get my laptop fixed
  • get car fixed
  • sleep
unfortunately, this list was a little bit of wishful thinking. there was no way that i would get all of this done and enjoy the spontinaity that is break; so...i sort of trashed it and now looking back...i'm glad i did :)

Thursday, January 5, 2012

dentist and me...not my favorite combination

i always feel like my teeth went through a brutal beating after going to the dentist. i don't have a fear of the dentist or anything like that (thank goodness) but i do hate it with a passion as deep as an olympic diving pool. first of all, i have to wake up at 8 in order to get there by 9:30; not really what i want to be doing for my last few days of break but i guess i can live with that. but then i get there, 10 minutes eary, and i have to wait for another 30 minutes before they finally call my name.

once i'm sitting there in the chair, the hygenist turns on the blinding bright overhead light and shines it right in my eyes forcing them shut. then she proceeds to ask me questions while she scraps and scraps at my teeth with her evil instruments of emotional torture, you see, the scrapping doesn't actually hurt - no it's much worse - it makes the worst scratching sound you've ever heard and it follows you all the way through your body until you are sure that your brain has turned to mush. oh! then theres the whole "let me squirt this water at your teeth that inevitably sprays off and lands all over my face! don't even get me started on the X-rays. when they say that they stopped using the cardboard film and moved to plastic because cardboard tasted funny, i laugh! of course that is utter rubbish! the plastic film hurts so much more. anyway, this time i didn't have to get X-rays, and when the hygenist told me this glorious news, i'm sure i heard the angels singing.

Wednesday, January 4, 2012

recent obsession

so i was one of those kids in junior high and high school who wasn't allowed to read the Harry Potter books or watch the movies. my aunt and uncle thought that i wouldn't be able to seperate fiction about magic from the real witchcraft that happens today (although oddly enough i was allowed to watch NCIS and all 3 CSI series...). anyway, i did what any good kid would do; i convinced myself that they were dumb so that i wouldn't feel like i missed out on anything.

as i grew older, i had more and more friends tell me how great the series was. not did they believe that the plot line was interesting, but, acording to them, JK Rowling was a wonderful writer. somewhere in a corner of my heart i wished that i could delve into this fascinating world of Hogwarts with witches and wizards and some game called quiditch, where hats talked and professors where evil and then they were good and then they were evil again. but i suppressed the desire so as not to torture myself with something just beyond my reach.

now, i'm in college and my dear friend Amy discovered that i was one of the sadly deprived children who did not grow up with Harry and Ron and Hermionie. terribly bothered by this travisty, she did what any good friend would do and lent me here first two books promising to lend me the others once i was finished with these.

Christmas break rolled around and i finally decided to take the first book off my shelf. foolishly, i left the other behind thinking that i probably wouldn't finish the first one. it sat in my backpack for a few days until i was tired of NCIS re-runs and started reading the book after dinner. by 2 that morning i was half way through, fully submerged in the lives of 3 eleven year olds and their attempts to save Hogwarts and their world from the dark evils of You-Know-Who. by the next afternoon, i was done with the book and it was the beginning of break. i still had two weeks to go before being reunited with my new friends. i seem to be making Harry Potter connections to everything and wishing endlessly for a snowy white owl to name Hedwig (or maybe a kitten at least).

perhaps i was a little deprived from the wonders of JK Rowlings great stories, but now...now i can't get enough! was it worth it??? who knows.

maybe just a little bit jealous...just a little

waking up late; staying up...not that late

i've probably slept more in the past two and a half weeks than i have all semester. sometime around midnight, i start to feel tired and generally bored of everything that i'm doing, so obviously, i go to bed. but midnight, in all actuality, isn't that late; so i should be able to hop out of bed the next morning around nine or ten and be fully rested with well over eight hours of sleep...then how come i keep sleeping in until two in the afternoon!??!?

if i had a pillow pet, i would want an owl
today i had to wrench myself from my bed, fighting an internal battle of do i get up? can't i just lay here? i have nothing planned to do all day, why not sleep? as i was just about to roll over and give in to the warmth and apathy of my pillow, my dentist called to confirm and appointment for the next morning. it was set for nine thirty in the morning. if i wanted to be able to wake up at eight tomorrow, i was going to have to wake up at ten today. so here i am typing away because i figure using my brain to make words and sentences will engaged it just enough to stay awake...

Tuesday, January 3, 2012

welcome 2012 - you've got nothing i can't handle

i've never really though that the new year was that big of a deal. yes we were starting something new and many people find it a great time to recommit to goals that had fallen to the wayside during the year pervious. but for me, i'd never gone to parties or had some great epiphany of things i needed to change in my life. generally, if i find something that needs to be changed then i change it no matter what the date is. in year's past i'd always been dissapointed when i'd try to stay up to watch the ball drop. it always dropped so slowly and i wasn't actually there to experience the confetti everywhere so what really was the point? then there's the rose bowl parade. i've always liked that, but now that i'm older i never wake up in time for it.

this isn't everyone from new year's, but it's the only group shot i have
this year, though, this year was different. new year's eve rolled around and my friend Ollie came and picked me up before we headed to mount hermon to join the rest of our day camp family. almost everyone from this last summer was there. we were missing Sassy, Breck, Hooligan, and Frogger. we even had Fender there from two summers ago. we didn't necessarily do anything wonderful or extravagant, we just spent time together and caught up on each other's lives while playing cards and taking walks and going to capitola. it was so so good to be with everyone again and remember what is really important.

this past year, there were some hard things that i had to deal with; things that left me emotionally drained and exhausted, but above all of that, i have a family who loves me and whom i love. they are from all over - school, the bay, camp - and although they may not all be close by (most of them have never even met each other) i love them all the same and would do anything for them. i know that they will be there when this next year brings it's challenges, and i will be there for them too. a good portion of my family was there with me at the start of this new year; i can't think of a better way to celebrate.