Monday, December 14, 2009
When I think on your beauty,
Your tests and your projects,
What joy they bring me
To know each day you bring
The chance for success.
The sun calls out to me,
The trees are green with life,
But I'd rather be here with you
How saddened I will be
To see you leave in May
My one request
Disregard this deliriousness!
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
This morning I was supposed to meet with my darling friend Faith at our favorite coffee shope at seven in the morning. I organized everything so I'd be ready to leave at six-thirty, and as I thought of how tired I would be the next morning, I set my alarm for five-forty. When I awoke to my watch alarm the this morning, I thought it odd that I was not tired and that I was being awoken by my watch and not my radio alarm. I then looked at the clock and realized that it was five minutes past seven. I was supposed to be at the coffee shope in that moment! I woke my uncle up and asked if he could give me a ride. He took his time getting ready, while I tried to defrost the car. We didn't leave for another twenty-five minutes.
When I arrived at seven-forty, I felt so terrible that I had left Faith waiting there for forty minutes, but she was so gracious and understanding. We began talking all about her recent trip as though I hadn't been late at all.
At lunch, the drama students met to rehearse for the Christmas production, of which I am a part. During the rehearsal, we paused a lot to ask questions about blocking and lines. It was terrible; we basically stood in a line in the front of the classroom and said our lines. I felt so awkward because I knew how boring and uninteresting it was, but I didn't know what to do. I was supposed to be interacting with the other characters by getting frustrated at them, but they were not doing anything for me to get frustrated with. The play is this Friday and we are no where near ready.
After the practice, my directors said that they thought I was doing a wonderful job, and they understood that I was trying to do more but couldn't. They assured me that everything would turn out.
Then in seventh period web design, I turned off my computer when the bell rang but forgot to email my work to my home computer. I had to restart my computer, zip my file, and wait for the email to go through. AOL was having issues so I had to use my other email address. By the time I left class and went to my locker to get my books, the bus had gone. I had to call my uncle to come pick me up. I knew that meant that my aunt would give me a lecture when I arrived home about how irresponsible I am.
Yet, even as I sit here and type about it, I feel encouraged. I am reminded that everyone makes mistakes. Therefore, even if my aunt gets upset, I know that I am not an irresponsible person, but rather, I was slightly irresponsible today.
Rough days like today always seem to hold the most encouraging moments. I may have had a lot of stressful experiences, but after each one, I felt encouraged that things would get better.
I guess today wasn't too awful after all.
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
Sometimes, I forget that I can initiate a conversation or ask for a hug without waiting for someone else to notice me first. I just want to be loved and noticed so badly that I turn into a little child and say stupid things that I only half way mean such as “I’m the invisible student” or “I’m used to being ignored,” in order to have people pay more attention to me. It’s such a childish thing to do. I am ashamed to think that as a senior I still resort to the behaviors of an unruly five-year-old.